In a massively overdone ironic rant, I will attempt to explain the consequences resulting from the continued use of blogs, through (you guessed it) a blog. How creative.
Firstly, blogs simply cannot replace a simple human conversation. Never have I ever spoken to a person who tells me only about their experiences grocery shopping, or their latest observation on cyberspace politics, and does not expect a reply in return. Consider a world where all humans spoke as they currently speak in the blogosphere, ranting on about minute daily tasks, or (even worse) their own opinions. There would be no more pudding, for all the pudding factory workers would have died from intensely acute boredom. (What could a person working at a pudding factory possibly have to say that is of any interest to anyone?)
Secondly, blogs are of the Internet, and therefore of Satan himself, potentially Voldemort as well, and certainly the Russian Communists, who have created blogs in a desperate attempt to destroy democracy.
Thirdly, the word blog is reminiscent of a horrid, horrid disease that attacked and nearly destroyed many East Asian colonies in the late 15th century. Named the Blogian Flu, in honor of it's first victim Tsao Blog, this virus ravaged the countryside for nearly 100 years, until eventually extinguished by its only weakness, orange marmalade. Thankfully, East Asian colonies were known for their preserved jams and jellies, and therefore, the casualties were eventually contained.
And Finally, I am blogging. That should be enough to convince any of you to stop using them.
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